One-line Summary:

We Are Not Ourselves is a poignant and deeply moving novel that explores the complexities of family, ambition, and the pursuit of the American dream.

The American Dream and Ambition

Set in the second half of the twentieth century, We Are Not Ourselves follows the life of Eileen Tumulty, a young Irish-American woman living in Queens, New York. From a young age, Eileen dreams of a better life, one that transcends her working-class roots. She marries Ed Leary, a brilliant scientist, hoping that he will provide the stability and success she desires. However, as their lives unfold, Eileen realizes that the American dream may not be as attainable as she once believed.

Eileen’s ambition is a driving force throughout the novel. She is determined to climb the social ladder and provide her son, Connell, with opportunities she never had. Eileen’s relentless pursuit of the American dream often blinds her to the true value of her relationships and the happiness that can be found in the present moment. As she becomes consumed by her desire for success, Eileen neglects her own well-being and the needs of those closest to her.

The Complexity of Family

We Are Not Ourselves delves into the intricacies of family dynamics, portraying the complexities and challenges that arise within the Tumulty-Leary household. Eileen’s relationship with her husband, Ed, is at the heart of the story. Ed, a brilliant scientist, is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease, which gradually erodes his memory and cognitive abilities. As Ed’s condition worsens, Eileen becomes his primary caregiver, facing the emotional and physical toll of his illness.

The novel also explores the relationship between Eileen and her son, Connell. Eileen’s unrelenting ambition puts a strain on their bond, as she pushes Connell to excel academically and achieve the success she desires for him. Connell, however, struggles to find his own identity and rebels against his mother’s expectations. The tension between Eileen’s aspirations and Connell’s desire for independence creates a rift in their relationship, highlighting the complexities of parental love and the challenges of balancing personal ambitions with familial responsibilities.

The Fragility of Life and the Search for Meaning

We Are Not Ourselves confronts the fragility of life and the search for meaning in the face of adversity. As Ed’s health deteriorates, Eileen is forced to confront her own mortality and reevaluate her priorities. She begins to question the significance of her relentless pursuit of success and realizes that true fulfillment lies in the love and connections she has forged with her family.

The novel also explores the impact of illness on identity and the struggle to maintain a sense of self in the face of debilitating disease. Ed’s battle with Alzheimer’s challenges Eileen’s perception of him as a brilliant and capable man, forcing her to confront the painful reality of his decline. Through Ed’s journey, the novel raises profound questions about the nature of identity and the essence of what makes us who we are.

• Family is a complex web of relationships that requires nurturing and understanding.
• Success and the pursuit of the American dream can come at the expense of personal happiness and meaningful connections.
• The fragility of life reminds us of the importance of cherishing the present moment and finding fulfillment in love and relationships.

“We are not ourselves when nature, being cruel, takes us unaware, destroys our ability to shape our own lives, to exert our will on the world, to make our mark.”

In conclusion, We Are Not Ourselves is a poignant exploration of family, ambition, and the pursuit of the American dream. Through the lens of Eileen Tumulty’s life, the novel delves into the complexities of relationships, the fragility of life, and the search for meaning. It serves as a reminder that true fulfillment lies not in material success, but in the love and connections we cultivate with those around us.